Archive for October, 2009

If You Make A Mess At Work…

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

Been thinking about relationship messes at work; same old same old human miscommunication, projection and downright unconsciousness. And sometimes it seems to me that the politics of the playground rule!

So how do we resolve that? My heart sinks when I think of the industries & professions that have cropped up to deal with this issue alone… 1:1 coaching, team coaching, HR, mediation, conflict resolution and Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

I would love to be totally redundant and that there were no relationship messes at work… or anywhere else for that matter.

But without individuals within organisations committing to personal growth work, i.e. exploring their selves and becoming familiar with what makes them tick to the point of making choices about how they behave… big gasp of air! Both a long sentence and a tall order I suspect.

But without that awareness and ability to choose, the pain of relationship messes is destined to continue. And so often people ‘daydream’ about causation, giving themselves even more pain by personalising other people’s not so hot behaviours. Sometimes that’s reality and often it’s not!

So a simple maxim which applies both to people who cause messes and those who consider themselves recipients of others’ messes. If you make a mess and can clear it up, do so… then move on. If you can’t clear it up… just move on!

What relationship mess could you deal with today or whenever you’re back at the coalface?

‘Bump & Grind’

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Last night I caught Shirley Bassey, a veteran UK superstar and cabaret artist, in a TV tribute show. There she was, still strong voiced, thrilling her fans, bumping and grinding in sequinned splendour.

I was impressed by her being true to her brand after all these years. And, at the same time, I felt poignancy that nothing about her ‘performance’ appeared different to how she was decades ago.

Not her problem! The perception was of course all mine.

Particularly as personal and professional evolution are two of my important values. Being an evolving ‘self” which gets richer over time and, in consequence, enriches your role… rather than you just ‘performing’.

An evolving self which not only engages with others but enables them to engage with you too. A relationhip of presence and respect which encourages and applauds the best from others; which serves them and, by so doing, enriches you too.

Dame Shirley gave me a great gift. In those moments I got the full impact of a conscious realisation. The kind which hits you like a sledge hammer when the slow burn of creeping awareness hasn’t worked.

I’m leaving behind my own version of ‘bump and grind’. An ‘in-yer-face’ personality ‘performance’ behind which I could hide my evolving self. A defence fueled by an historic fear of paradoxically being ‘too much’.

No more! As Karan Salmansohn said, “You’re nobody ’til somebody hates you”! Or as Seth Godin puts it, when you’re being your ‘remarkable’ self you’ll always have criticisers. And what I know is the more you embody your evolving self, the more ably you’ll deal with those underminers.

So… what’s it to be? ‘Bump and grind’ or evolving self, ‘bump and grind’ or evolving self, ‘ bump and grind’ or …… ?

Leading With Purpose

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

I’m writing a book which includes revealing your purpose.  As my research has unfolded the clearer I’ve become that working in line with your purpose needs to be done purposefully. Which means with all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind!

A commitment to your purpose demands total loyalty and faith… nothing more, nothing less.

It might mean you disturbing the status quo and encountering unpopularity as President Obama is doing with his intended reforms for medical care in the US.  It might mean you making a stand like Rosa Parkes, a black woman who refused in 1955 to give up her bus seat to a white woman on the grounds of race.  It might mean that you go to jail for your cause like the late 19th and early 20th century ‘suffragette’ women who, refusing food, were force-fed.

Are you courageousness enough for any of that?

It might be unlikely you’d ever have to face those challenges.  However, unless you’re prepared to go to the edge of the cliff and fall if you have to, how on earth can you lead with purpose?


© Sharon Eden 2009

Leadership & Turning Up

Saturday, October 10th, 2009

It’s over a month since I last blogged… a whole month.  Yes.. it’s been one humdinger of a month with lots of calls on my time, energy, emotions, mind, body and spirit.

And that’s no excuse for not turning up!

I weary of the ‘authenticity’ ploy used by some web personalities as to why that link didn’t work or why they didn’t come up with the goods when they said they would.  Whatever the reason, bottom line is, if they’d committed to something, they just screwed up.  Like I screwed up this month.

And any Leader worth their salt takes responsibility for their actions.  Any leader worth their salt just says, “I screwed up guys. Here’s what I learned. And here’s how I intend to take this forward.”

Look forward to blogging more regularly from now on!

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